Saturday, April 16, 2011

Saving For Discounted Brazilian Liposuction

When you meet a man, fall in love, and start a life together, you begin to share all kinds of interests.  While my husband and I had a number of common passions to begin with (sports, family, "Survivor," and Irish-fests), I must say that there's one passion I could have gone without: an introduction to food.

Now understand that I have always liked my sweets.  Cake - check.  Cookies - check. Pie - check.  But I ate them in lieu of actual meals so my weight usually stayed under control (though my nutritional intake was highly suspect).  Enter my husband - the ultimate foodie.  He falls asleep each night watching "Diners, Drive-ins & Dives," or even better, "Man vs. Food."  He cuts out recipes and cooks regularly.  If he had to choose between me and food, I'd be nervous.  I of course am adept only at microwaving nuggets and boiling water for instant oatmeal.

 As a single person, I might as well have been Jerry Seinfeld.  I ate cereal for dinner most nights of the week.  On rare occasion, I'd spice things up and make some instant rice with soy sauce.  If I traveled for work, I'd order the cookie sundae for a meal (my husband has never forgiven me for this one - "you had an EXPENSE REPORT for chrisssakes - and you didn't order the filet???"  I was a waste of a palate.

My husband has painstakingly cured me of this deficiency and between that, my aversion to exercise, and having 3 kids in 3 years, let's just say nobody holds the elevator doors for me anymore.  So this is why I'm saving for Brazilian liposuction.  You get the surgery AND a vacation for half the cost!  My husband is already researching the restaurants.

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